Expiration Date

Some people know where they are going to be tomorrow. I wonder where I was yesterday. I was having three eggs, scrambled, with mushrooms. Or was it two eggs sunny side up?

People tell me I forget everything I do. Or rather, everything I did, if you want to be critical of my grammatical usage. But what did I forget? I remember everything. I can recall exactly where I was when I –

Were my eggs hard boiled yesterday? They had this dry texture to them. I bet Marta kept them in the water too long. She has a habit of doing that. Maybe if she didn’t fail home-economics last year she would be a better wife. I can’t believe I married her after only one year of courtship.

Who is this old lady constantly walking in front of me? Definitely not my mother – she died before I graduated high school. Unless I’m seeing people from beyond the dead. Do I have powers?

Maybe I died. Maybe that is why I don’t remember yesterday so well? I really think it was an egg salad. Without the mayonnaise. I never liked mayonnaise. But I can’t be dead. I never went home. I never kicked the bucket. I never passed on to a better place.

Who is this little girl holding my hand? Oh, I know. It must be Johnny’s daughter. I always forget I’m an uncle now. Haven’t heard from Johnny in a while, though. He’s a pretty good big brother. He always drove me to the diner to hang out with his friends. He had this awesome car. You should’ve seen it. ’57 Ford. Boy did those lights float down the street. Flickering. I wonder if he got that tune-up he had scheduled for today.

Got it! That’s what I did yesterday. I told Johnny he should get his car fixed.

Why is my niece crying?

“I’m sorry honey, your grandfather expired.”


The above is an original piece of work by the author of this page. Any attempt to reproduce it will be deemed plagiarism.